I love to learn new things, well, sometimes. Recently, I completed my certification training to provide Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP). I enjoyed being around the horses and getting to know new people. I didn’t particularly enjoy the feeling of not knowing what I was doing and I struggled to “Get it right.” (One benefit of a great training is the opportunity to learn about your own “stuff” while learning a technique or approach. As we practice, our own issues often come up. That’s right, therapists have issues. It is often said that people come into this profession to fix themselves or someone they love. Personally, I did a lot of my own work before entering this field and figured if I can get better, ANYONE can! Ok, back to my story.) On the drive in to the last training, I realized I had a “daddy issue” I was struggling with as I tried to “do it right.” I was once again trying to please the authority and “stay out of trouble.” I thought I had finished with this issue a while back. I had forgiven my father for the way he had treated me and was proud to be his daughter. So, where did this come from? Society tells us we must obey authority and if we don’t we will suffer negative consequences. I had learned this well as a child, and had avoided a lot of problems growing up by doing as I was told. But in this arena, my questions were met with silence and shrugged shoulders. I no longer had “Daddy” telling me exactly how to do things. I had become comfortable trusting my intuition and God to guide me in dealing with my clients’ problems in the office. But for some reason, take it outside and add a few horses, I reverted back to old patterns of “trying to get it right.” I am happy to say I did get over that old feeling and became much more comfortable working with the horses. I am glad for the uncomfortable feelings I struggled with during this training, because it reminded me of what my clients experience when I tell them I cannot answer their questions directly. We are all unique and often have to find our own unique answer. So in the end, I learned a new model for assisting my clients in their self discovery and I remembered an old truth: We are not perfect and we don’t have to be.
